Visiting Home

I am visiting home today. I have been touring the garden slowly with my eyes wide open, like I am in a strange land on high alert.

Five days away is a long time in a garden. I must pay attention. There have been visitors. Things have happened.

The Oakleaf Hydrangea has burst into bloom.

Its scent is only slight due to the cool air and wind.

Oakleaf hydrangea

The last of the poppy blooms are a favorite with the bees this morning.

The Verbena bonariensis is tall and lovely. It has such geometric stems.

Verbena bonariensis

The Black Knight buddleia has started to bloom.

Black Knight buddleia

I spied the first Four O’ Clock flower.

Some critters have moved things and dug holes and left waste. Nothing dramatic so far.

I am glad to visit home, but it is not the same as being home. That will have to wait. I am needed more elsewhere.


P.S. WORDPRESS just informed me that I started this site 8 YEARS AGO TODAY! WOW

A Realist and an Idealist Clash

Nobody welcomes a reality check, no matter how much one is needed.

It is easier to see things the way you want to see them.

It is nice to ignore the ugly parts and focus on what is pretty.

My mind will not let me ignore things that need fixing.

My brain also knows when all the effort I can muster will not fix what is broken.

That is where I am today. I am accepting the fact that some things are broken.

This is my reality check. I am home letting it sink in. I guess we will be coasting from here.

Mama is 91. She refuses to stand and walk. She does not want to. She has that right.

My sitting by her bed and watching her not do physical therapy will not change things.

While Daddy was dying he kept telling me, “Take care of your family.”

I have spent weeks with Mama hoping she will improve. She is better mentally, but her fear prevents PT progress.

Rose needs me home. Mr. Flower needs me handling things here. I make a difference here.

I will be accepting the things that I cannot change. This is not the ideal, it is just what is real.


My Heart is Still in Winter

My heart is still in winter, tho my flowers say it’s spring.

I am surrounded by cold realities that I cannot change.

I do not have the power to thaw my frozen, fearful heart.

Life is precious. The fragile need protection.

I am hunkered down for a bit.

Holding my budded heart closely.

Waiting for a safe time to open.

I have faith in spring, even now.

We will endure. We will bloom again. We will grow.

This I know.