Month: April 2026

The Many Kinds of Loss

| Flower Roberts

I have been wandering and pondering this morning. It is a day that needs balancing.

My mama died on the morning of April 12, 2025. She has been gone a whole year. One Thanksgiving, one Christmas, one birthday and one Easter. I am planting a pink garden on the mountain in her memory.

I am home now. The site of more loss. Life goes on whether you are paying attention or not. There are things lost whether you are paying attention or not. Many things disappear while you are not looking.

My garden has missed me. My house has missed me. I am okay with that. I do not have the strength nor the stamina to stay here. I must not lose myself.

I toured my gardens with my camera this morning. I took only lovely photos to share, except for one.

This scene you will recognize. These two statues are named Lily and Moss. I have written stories about them. Today, I will let a photo tell the story.

There are many kinds of loss. I miss my well mama, but not the sick suffering one. Her loss was gradual. We lost bits of her long before April 12. Little steps that sometimes went unnoticed. That’s how loss works. It is sneaky.

Are you paying attention?

FLOW

My Needy Garden

| Flower Roberts

I came home for a few days. I have hauled most of my small plants out of my workshop. I cannot budge the big ones. Mr. Flower will have to assist.

I hate to admit that my heart no longer loves them like it used to. I feel their need pulling me down. Thank goodness I have given about 2/3 of my collection away.

I did some weeding and trimming today. I also took photos of my garden. Here are a few.

This huge azalea must be protected by fence. Any sprout that sticks out is eaten twig and all my the herd of fifteen deer.

Little Much bearded iris

This gentle iris was surrounded and strangled by some bullies, especially pink Persian Berry. It has thrived on this bank in isolation.

Rose and I spotted a visitor as we sat in the swing. Our friend the fox trotted across the yard and headed up into the woods. I was thrilled to see it looking so healthy.

Our neighbor the fox.

My iris bed has two types blooming now. Persian Berry and Thunder Echo.

Persian Berry (back) and Thunder Echo iris

I am glad to be home, but next time I come, I will have my assistant joining me. Seeing so much to do and not being able to do it was frustrating.

FLOW and the fox

Stopping the Book

| Flower Roberts

I made the decision to stop writing the book I have been working on for two years. The threads of storyline that I started out with have been twisted and severed. The Pearson Women took on a life of its own and took me down roads I never anticipated.

I have uncovered many surprises and several shocks along the way. I have learned alot about my family history. My research has been the subject of family discussions.

I hit a really rough spot several weeks ago. I spent hours trying to find little details I needed which turned up nothing. I have been hitting dead ends and finding dead sources.

The research about the train wreck that killed my great grandfather in 1959 was the clincher. I won’t visit that dark rabbit hole again.

The Pearsons

I have uncovered details about relatives that were not shared for a reason. I believe that sometimes the folks of the past protect the future generations from their sadness by not passing along harmful, painful information.

Maybe someday I will pull out my files and do profiles of each of the characters for my children and realtives to enjoy.

But for now, I am going to be grateful for the good things these people passed down to my generation. I choose to trust their judgement in leaving some things buried in the past.

FLOWER drawing the line.

The Tree in the Dale

| Flower Roberts

I have always admired trees. Their shape and their shade are appreciated. There are some trees that I especially love. I remember these as important landmarks. I look for these old friends when I return to those places.

I went back to the picnic spot by the mountain stream yesterday. I took a bag of root chips, water and my camera. I meant to bring a book, but it was left in the kitchen. I go to this place to read. There is spotty phone service and no internet here, so it keeps me form scrolling the horrific events of war and politics. I make myself take breaks between calls and letter writing and posting and sharing…

I wandered around with my memories along the banks of the streams. There have been changes. I will share that later. I was looking for things that have not changed. I need some mooring right now. What could be more steadying than an old, familiar tree?

This was one of the sights I came for…The Tree in the Dale.

It stands in the middle of lovely sloping pastures. From the picnic site, only its crown is visible. It peeks over the hills. Seeing just its top was a comfort. I was not up for a hike to its shade.

I just wanted to put my eyes on this tree that I have loved through time. I keep returning to places of the past. Searching for echoes. Hoping for old threads to attach myself to.

A tree is pretty steady mooring for that.

I am grateful for the tree in the dale.

FLOW

Familiar Faces from Home

| Flower Roberts

I really needed a visit from my flowers this morning. Mr. Flower knew this. On his one day off, he took the time to tour our yard and photograph my flowers.


I have kept his shadows in the photos to remind me who took these pictures.  This is a very sad fifth anniversary for our family. Actually it was worst day of our lives, especially for him and his mom and sis.  

On this day he has chosen to send me flowers.That’s what love looks like. The real kind. The long game.


Thank you so much hubby. Enjoy your day at the farm. Hug your sister. Carry on.

Here he is photographing our thirty-six-year-old azaleas. I was young then. I could not decide on a color, so I bought one of each. My first horticultural experiment at the lake.

Mr. Flower’s shadow

Grateful

Love FLOWER

A Walk at Flat Top

| Flower Roberts

I tried another new trail today. I am picking flat places to walk by myself. Any time I hike on uneven terrain or wander off the trail, some stumbling starts. I did not take my walking stick today, so I had to be extra careful.

Brackets and moss on a dead tree.

Today’s walk was on one of the roads around the Flat Top Manor, which is also known as the Moses Cone Estate. The mansion is not open yet, but you can park and walk the grounds.

Moses Cone Estate

I am happy to report that I wobbled but did not fall down today. I also got some pictures of lovely bracket fungi. I found colonies on several dead trees. Brackets are identified by color, top texture and pores.

I did not risk climbing up or down banks to identify these. We will appreciate them from afar.

Large bracket

I also spotted a single Bloodroot bloom.

Bloodroot flower

Finding all this and not falling down was a win:win!

FLOWER