I have been in a writer’s funk since I put away the book about the Pearson Women. There has been some guilt about it. Now that I am my own Mama Bear, I am better about doing what is best for me even when guilt is involved. I am working on getting strong again after my three hip replacements in two years. I am proud of the results so far.

On Sunday, my bookclub discussed Kristin Hannah’s book THE WOMEN. We had enlightening discussions about the many events involving the main character, a Vietnam surgical nurse, and her two best friends, her parents and several love interests. Reading this book involving a controversial war was an emotional rollercoaster, but we were all glad we had pushed through and read it.

At the end of our discussion, I mentioned what I call ‘time circles.’  There a few were examples of this phenomena in the book.

This got me thinking about a strange event that occurred while I was cleaning out my mom’s house on Enwood.

I noticed two books in the office trash can. I wondered why my sister had thrown them away.  There were stacks of books everwhere. Why these two?

When I asked her about it, she did not know anything about the books. We pulled them out of the waste basket. Neither of us recalled having ever seen these two old  books.

Of course I thought it was a sign from Daddy. I pulled them out of the trash and read them both. One was a book about Vietnam, the other was a book about marriage.

I was disappointed. They seemed like old- fashioned propaganda from the 1960’s. The mystery of those books has stuck with me. I had no clue what either had to do with me…

UNTIL TODAY

You will have to wait for the circle’s completion.  Sometimes you find the end of a circle and sometimes you find a beginning. I call the beginning sign a ‘ heads up.’ The two books I found two years ago were a ‘heads up’ for events happening now. WOW!

I am going on a trip. I may blog, but this circle must wait. It will need my full attention when I return. Rest assured that I will hitting this ‘time circle’ hard when I get back.

There it is. That researcher’s excitement that I have been missing. Hooray!

Thanks Daddy

FLOW

I am back home for a weekend. I am back to purge the un-needed and fix the broken and play PIBWIB. (put it back where it belongs). I have run out of clean clothes in less than 48 hours. So I had to decend the steps into the dark belly of the house.

I have never liked the narrow laundry room. The adjoining darkest corner room houses boxes from Rose’s college apartment. Kitchen supplies, linens and furniture for a future on-hold. I won’t share a photo of that mess.

I went to my shop which still has the big plants I could not move out on my last visit. I needed a short piece of chain to repair a hanging solar light beside the entrance to the pebble patio with no furniture and a few weeds. No photo.

I save scraps of anything that might be useful later,  thus there are many junk drawers and boxes of craft supplies. I knew just where to find scrap chain and wire. I will not share photos of that untidy chaos either.

I have done hours of trimming in the gardens. I left piles for Mr. Flower to haul to the gully. The beds look neater…for now. No before photos will make the blog. Only staged after pictures. The whole truth never makes the cut. Only the successes. Is this misleading?

I will share only the lovely scenes. You will see only the bright blooms and thriving plants. No one cares to see the weeds and debris in piles. No one wants to witness the ugly part of gardening…and life.

Is leaving out the whole truth a lie? Is omission really a sin?

That’s where my head is right now, after abandoning my writing project. The research I spent months doing uncovered the reality of squabbles and sadness and elopements and a suicide that were never shared.

The unpretty pasts of folks I never met. The  keeping of their secrets is a bit haunting. That’s what I was thinking about as I preened my gardens to make them pristine and picture-worthy. Only share what is presentable and hide the rest.

We all want our best selves to be seen and remembered. It’s only natural. What would be gained by exposing the ugly? They took things to their graves for their own reasons.

Tidying up their lives to make them presentable was like me cleaning up a flower bed for a photo shoot.  Somethings are best left unsaid and unseen…and yet.

FLOW

I will not be growing keylimes and using them to make a pie ever again. Mrs Edwards and Mrs Smith can have that job!

The over-achiever Flower has been reined in…finally.

A Pie story for Pi Day

Extreme stress is not conducive to creativity.
I cannot change reality right now,
but I can focus on the good.

I am and will continue to poison myself with the daily events of horror. I refuse to totally look away from this chaos and suffering caused by greed and evil.

But, I also purposefully find the fighters for right. These are good people who have had their warrior switch turned on by an event they could not tolerate.

These are the good that I am grateful for. The people that chose to stand their ground and do whatever it takes to protect what is of value.

Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine inspires me by staying with his people and not wearing a suit.

AOC and Bernie Sanders who stand shoulder to shoulder with the real people with jobs and dreams.

Melanie Stansbury who refuses to defuse her fury at the monstrous atrocities that occurred to young females in her state on an exclusive, isolated ranch.

Jasmine Crockett who goes off like a rocket when entitled liars speak.

Chef Jose Andres who has taken on the hunger of the displaced all over the planet with World Central Kitchen.

The Walk for Peace Monks and Aloka walking through snow to reach our chaotic capital. I will keep that image of their robes against the snow forever.

Jessica Knurick who stands up against the bull shit spread about health by ignorant folks who are not qualified to write a prescription nor shop for healthy food.

My hero, Heather Cox Richardson. The historian who is documenting the daily shenanigans of inept people in power. She calms me down like no one else.

My new favorite duo, Jeff Newton and Rye Howard Stone, who are teaming up to lay bare the Epstein files using an AI assistant named Claude. Jeff is formerly from 60 Minutes. Rye just finished his PhD and is taking this on as he waits for the right job to appear. These two are on Substack. Watch them work. Simply amazing!

I will stop here. I could add many more groups who have been formed to right the wrongs.

These are the names I whisper into the darkness as I try to relax and sleep.

I am truly grateful for the good they are doing.

FLOW