I am back at Wildwood this week. I have been moving things and cleaning as usual. I have put out word that many plants are ready for adoption. It’s all I can do.

I have been taking pictures of things I like. I will not share the mess. We burned more of my biology notebooks yesterday. I had the horrible thought this morning.

Where would I be if I had invested all that effort into something besides science and plants? Maybe I took a wrong turn decades ago and got on the wrong path.

I know this kind of thinking is not helpful at age 65, but I am burning records of my career and giving away my botanical collection. It’s hard not to have such questions as I purge my present life of my past.

I just don’t want people to envy me or think my life is easy. I do not want to create dissatisfaction by sharing all the good stuff and hiding the struggles, of which there have been many.

So when you see all this beauty in these pictures, remember the sore back and dirty fingernails that got me here. Every choice involves loss. Don’t be fooled by a pretty photo.

FLOW