I spent some time at the New River Greenway today. This is part of a park complex in Boone, NC.
This park runs along the river which floods occasionally. Having designated areas as wetlands is win:win. The extra water has somewhere to go.
There is a trail around my favorite wetland. It has many aquatic plants that are of interest year-round.
Rose Mallows
The rose mallows were blooming today. These are native perennials, Hibiscus moscheutos. There were many variations of pink and some gorgeous white flowers blooming for pollinators to visit. Hummingbirds and butterflies like these blooms.
Wetlands are important habitats. It’s a great place to look and listen for wildlife.
I heard an Indigo Bunting today, but never saw it.
I spotted something bright pink and red among brown woodchips. The shape screamed stinkhorn. I did not care to take a whiff to confirm my suspicion. I have seen phallus fungi before. All types of fungi show up on the mountain when it rains. This one is named Mutinus ravenelii.
Mutinous ravenelii
It was named for a South Carolina biologist, Henry William Ravenel. He lived in the eighteen hundreds. I am not sure naming this tiny fungus a Latin term meaning Ravanel’s penis was an honor. It is rather small.
Stand of stinkhorns
They white orbs are “eggs” from which new little stinkhorns will emerge and elongate. I had been monitoring this stand of stinkhorns, so that I could have record of the process.
Stinkhorn eggs
My hopes were smashed when my yardman drove over the little, pink stinkhorns. They were no match for the riding mower. Poor little pinkies.
Our thicket is neither pretty nor tidy. If those were requirements for survival, I would have been purged as a child. It is not the appearance of the thicket that matters, it is its function. What it does makes it of value.
The thicket on the corner.
Things live in the thicket, eat in the thicket and hide in the thicket. Those things matter to me, you see.
Jewelweed grows around the margin.
A pair of rabbits lives in the protection of the thicket. These two come out in the evenings to graze on grass or eat pieces of Daddy’s apples that have been dropped by careless crows.
A bunny and two crows under the apple tree.
I often encounter insects in the thicket. Today, I disturbed a butterfly. This dragonfly was undeterred by my trimming around it.
Dragonfly posing
Birds nest in the thicket. If I spot a nest, I leave that part messy until the season changes. Birds also shelter in it during bad weather.
Once a tiny fawn hid in the thicket while it’s mother wandered elsewhere to feed. The branches of the rhododendrons twist together to make the middle safe from large predators.
Under the thicket.
Food grows within the thicket. I trim the outer blackberry stalks back, but leave some for foragers. There are pokeberries, too. The brown thrashers love them. They also love thrashing about in debris under the thicket to find insects.
Pokeberries
There is a tiny world inside that thicket. I have pledged to leave it undisturbed in the middle. I just keep the exposed surfaces tidy to placate any picky neighbors. That’s my deal. I plan to keep it.
Giving the thicket a trim.
Yes, the thicket is a bit ugly. But ugly can be useful. Just as pretty can be useless.
My good friend Sandra used to meet me for brunch at a restaurant named First Watch. We called it Last Minute as a joke. On one of these times I brought her a gift from Enwood. That is what I call the old home place.
Sandra used real handkerchiefs instead of tissue. I had found a stash of hankies in a drawer of Gran’s dresser. I washed them and ironed them. Then I picked out my favorites. Placed them in a fancy box and took them to our brunch meeting.
We got seated at a small table by the kitchen door. I presented my gift before our food arrived. She loved the delicate, embroidered designs on them and the fact they came from Enwood and my family.
Hankies before refurbishment.
After Sandra and Mama died, I did not go to “Last Minute” for months. This was not really intentional, it is just how things played out.
The next time I went there was with my sister. As fate would have it, we got seated at the exact same table-for-two by the kitchen. As I plopped down on the seat. I burst into tears.
The hostess looked confused, my sister looked puzzled. I could not speak, so there was an embarrassing pause until I could babble an explanation to my sister, which was then interpreted to the hostess.
I do not plan these emotional eruptions. They come when they come. The catharsis is quick but overwhelming.
We ate our meal as we talked about Sandra wearing all green to Last Minute once. Her hair was short due to chemo. My sis told Sandra she looked like she was in the army. I said she looked like Mary Martin as Peter Pan. Such is conversation among good friends.
While purging Wildwood during my trip home last week, I found more hankies in a basket in the basement. These had not made the cut due to spots. I hauled them up the mountain. They were treated with bleach on q-tips and soaked in borax. Then handwashed, dried flat and ironed.
These will go in a fancy round box beside Sandra’s picture. This little display on my dresser will remind me that I am part of an eternal circle connecting people I have loved to people I do love.
Keeping Sandra close.
If this post made you need a hanky, I have added a funny hanky story below for comic relief.
Did I really read this book without burning it? The book by Kenneth J. Foreman is even more irritating than I remembered. I am surprised Mama kept it. If she had been dead when it was placed in the trash, I would have believed that she did it.
Now, I am doubting that this is the right book. I recall being miffed by its preachiness. I wondered how Mama felt about getting this as a wedding gift. I even looked through her wedding gift records. It had the givers’ names and “books” was listed.
I discussed this topic with my sister again this morning. Then I read this book for the third and hopefully last time. In my mind I held three points of view.
Contents
The first point of view was an attempt to see it through my mother’s unmarried eyes of 1952.
My adorable parents
The second was through my miffed attitude at the time I found the book in the trash in 2023. The third is of me sitting in my deceased parents’ mountain house built at the end of a long marriage. Considering this little book while safe in my haven.
My notes on this little powder keg of a book.
It is almost a book discouraging marriage except for the most devout and worthy Christians. Pagans are insulted numerous times. I would feel unworthy of marriage if I had read this beforehand. My sis and I think my mama was probably too busy to read it before the wedding. There was no evidence of it ever being read before I read it. Oh, the irony!
If you know someone who is in a questionable engagement, may I suggest this book as a gift? (Only on Esty or ebay.) It will cause a doubt storm so fierce they may never get married.
I truly LOVE these people right here.
I am surprised that From This Day Forward needed a third printing in 1953. I will say it tries to put the skids on the conveyor belt carrying young women and men toward the altar. This book has the exact opposite effect of the shotgun at a wedding.
I will share several stand-outs that were particularly urksome.
The man says “honor her” in the vows. The woman says “inspire him.” Only the woman wears a ring. Clunk.
Take This Woman seems to imply all women have multiple personalities while men are rock-steady and understandable. I did appreciate that women have wider horizons and see farther into tomorrow.
Take This Man has several interesting insights. Men are childlike. Their work and leisure will not be shared nor understood. The wife may be jealous of both. I did like the plea for patience from both parties.
Do not expect improvements after the ceremony. Some marriages are suffocating.
Wealth may be as bad for the marriage as becoming poor. Temptations, motives and how wealth is acquired are covered.
Sickness and health touched on how an illness and suffering may change one’s personality. The sick person should be forgiven for transgressions.
Duration may seem like punishment. Some “til death” marriages are painful. The keys to a long happy marriage are humor and honesty. I do agree.
The one part that set my hair on fire was on page 35 about WOMEN. I quote:
( Had you ever noticed that it is men physicians, counselors and ministers who have to allay the nervous tensions of women, and seldom the other way around?)
Written in 1950, when very few women had the opportunity to become physicians, counselors or ministers. Pause to put out your hair ladies.
I will not burn this book. It will be in Gran’s china cabinet with the wedding book. They belong together like oil and water.
This little treasure from the trashcan was both infuriating and enlightening.
Before I cover each book in detail, I would like to analyze them as a pair. I would also like to consider why they might have been put in the trash in the office of Enwood.
There is no point speculating how the books were moved from wherever to the trash. My sister and I both saw the books in the trashcan. Neither of us put them there. The why is worth considering.
Both titles are from Christian rituals. From This Day Forward is part of the marriage vows. Deliver Us From Evil is part of the Lord’s prayer. I do not think either of my parents would send a sign trashing the church. They were both very religious and involved in their church for over sixty years.
Although ‘Deliver Us From Evil’ is part of a Christian vow, the book was about the United States’ involvement in Vietnam. I consider it propaganda.
If I were speculating on why these books were put in a trashcan together, I might think that it could have been encouragement in the questioning of these two establishments; Christian marriage and governmental power.
I was living in the Enwood house at the time. I was sorting things to be given away and sold. It was a difficult period of trying to balance the needs of my family at home and mama’s many needs at the home. My sister and I had good helpers or we would have suffered terribly under the strain.
I had lost faith in the church and the government at this point. I felt unmoored after losing my precious father. Now, I was helping my sister preparing to empty our home place as mama was declining.
Two of the establishments that should have given me a sense of stability, church and country, were no longer trusted. There was a lot of isolation and uncertainty at this time for my family.
I felt guilty about my doubting the traditional establishment of marriage. I wondered what each of my parents would have said about my negative attitude.
I was also very disturbed by the political climate. I have always cared about issues, being loyal to one party was not important.
I know hindsight is supposedly more accurate than forethought. If I were to seriously try to parcel out a meaning from these two books in a trashcan I think I could settle on either or both of my parents encouraging me to question the traditional establishments and not mindlessly follow tradition.
I have discussed this with my sister. I consider signs as nudges to help us mortals. I am no expert. This is all new to me. I am very analytical, so I ponder anything that is unusual or out of place.
My next post will be my interpretations of the two books.
floweralley 