I’ve been trying to get down to the heart of the matter. It has taken months of digging through old letters and photographs. These artifacts are like portals to the past. I am facing things I locked away. I have seen who I was before I was corrected and realigned.

I have had to accept that our culture’s expectations for both men and women have been limiting to both genders. Needless burdens are carried and strengths are repressed. It has taken great effort for me to admit that things I thought were moral were actually cultural. As a mother of both a young man and a young woman, it is imperative that I get my vision unbiased.

I do not intend to shackle either of my children with roles from this dichotomous culture. The roles of women, especially, have been augmented by patriarical standards for generations. I intend to stop that in my family here and now.

Another epiphany peeked out this morning. I was not expecting the truth that showed itself. But I guess I knew the truth all along. That is why this rare argument with my precious father has never let me go. Not after forty years. I know he would understand. Maybe the second-hand apology and the delayed sharing were part of the plan to get me here at this point in time.

Sometimes traveling back to the past shows you things you did not see the first go-round. Those memories you thought were locked away forever, have been waiting for you to be ready to finally look them in the eye.

This part of the journey will be done slowly, quietly and methodically. I cannot miss the lessons this time around. My past has my full attention. Our future will be better because of it.

FLOW