I keep seeing the empty spot where it should have been. (Under the left window)

I need to fill it in with something so I will quit chastising myself.

Frydek belongs there, but it is gone because of me.

Yes, I cried when it died. It was my fault, you see.

I am overprotective of everything, including my plants.

It is exhausting.

I used to dig up my ears and bring them all in to overwinter.

I thought they needed protection from freezing. Protection from rotting…

I do not do that anymore because of Frydek.

I brought them all in the fall of 2018. To keep them safe.

Frydek was dug first and put in the bottom of the barrel.

Layers of peat and paper were piled up in the barrel.

Ear, peat, paper, ear, peat, paper

Somehow water got in the barrel. Frydek was in the bottom.

Frydek rotted. Frydek died being protected.

I left all the ears out last fall. They all survived.

Frydek is gone. Its space is still here. All the other ears are here.

Reminding me that I need to quit over-mothering everything.

I will try to remember that because of Frydek.

Flow

https://floweralley.org/2018/08/04/a-new-leaf/