I have told myself that I must keep going.
But I was wrong.
Going is not the problem.
I can still cook, weed and do laundry.
I can still clean and shop.
I can do anything I want to.
But I don’t want to.
This is not depression. I know it well.
This is despair.
My heart is not broken, it’s missing.
I am afraid of this non-feeling mode.
I do things, but I don’t feel things.
So now, instead of telling myself I must keep going
I am urging myself to keep caring.
I usually care too much.
Now I am numb.
Floe
floweralley 
Thank you for sharing this, very thoughtful and well written. I was keeping up with your dadâs health and was so sorry to hear about his passing. I know that you are very close to your parents.  Our new âson in law to beâ has had a very close friend go through the lost his father/guardian this last week. I shared this with him in hopes, that he will share with Chris.   Thank you again, and enjoy your blog! Looking to get out to Deaeste or to do something fun, just let me know. Lisa Sent from Mail for Windows 10 From: floweralleySent: Tuesday, August 11, 2020 8:05 AMTo: lhharwell64@gmail.comSubject: [New post] I Must Keep Caring Flower Roberts posted: "I have told myself that I must keep going. But I was wrong. Going is not the problem. I can still cook, weed and do laundry. I can still clean and shop. I can do anything I want to. But I don’t want to. This is not depression. I know it well. This"
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Thanks Lisa. I will let you know when I am ready to have some fun.
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Hang in there, the numb passes…
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Thanks Queen
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A difficult time for you. Take good care
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Thank you Sandra.
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❤ Be kind and nurturing to yourself, take care.
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Thanks Eliza. I am trying.
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Sending you many blessings, Floe. Hang in there and take care.
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Yes. I am trying to get back from Floe to Flow. Thanks Peter.
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Your words are honest, raw, and insightful. I get it.
Sending love, hugs and prayers as you navigate these unknown waters.
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It has been a tough month. I had to put Barley down last week. Charlotte is pitiful.
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I am sorry you’re going through such a hard time. Your advice to yourself is wise and insightful. Sending my best wishes.
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Thank you Susan.
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A period of numbness is surely normal in the circumstances
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🤗Big Hug 🤗 to you! It’s hard, very hard. It takes time, then all of a sudden something or someone will come along and a smile will come to your face and your being numb will start going away! 😉
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I will enjoy that day. Thanks
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