I have looked at these photos of the Junk Bug many times. I clearly remember the afternoon I saw the tiny fluffy mess walking along the deck railing. I was so mesmerized by it that I did not think to take a picture for quite a while.

The load it carried was many times bigger than its body underneath. The junk pile is the Green Lacewing Larva’s camouflage. It is a hunter and hides under its load so its victims will not recognize it as a threat.

It attaches lichen, detritis and the body parts of former victims onto its back. This is not a random packing either. This camouflage must have balance.

I realized this when the bug moved from a horizontal position to vertical as it crawled down the side of a post. It seemed the pack on its back would cause it to backflip off to plummet to its death, but it took the move in stride.

Balancing a load is the lesson here. Carrying past hurts and future worries is something I have done as an adult. Writing our book about Rose helped me put down those stories I thought I had to carry. Our blog,

seizuremamaandrose.org

has helped continue this process. We got a message of appreciation from another epilepsy mother last night. It helps to turn all that hurt into help for someone else.

I wrote off a huge part of that load. Now I am writing to heal again. Ditching more of my camouflage, so I can move on to the next stage of my development. Just like the Junk Bug eventually dumps its load to become a beautiful and helpful Green Lacewing.

Its time to quit balancing this load and spread my wings and fly.

FLOW