Epiphanies in the Dark

| Flower Roberts

My brain wakes me up to tell me things. It has happened again tonight.


Something that I have been pondering on morphs into something else like a shape-shifting bucky ball.


I wake up seeing the obvious connections that were hidden. I finally see the trees in the forest. It is embarrasing what my awake mind misses when my asleep mind points it out.

Family tragedies that I thought of as linear and separate linked in my mind as ONE. I have mentioned these in a previous post, but instead of them following each in a linear, chronological fashion; they folded back on each other, like a time circle.

Great grandma’s husband was killed by a train on her farm.

Gran’s father was killed by a train on the family farm.

Ethel’s brother was killed by a train on the Pearson farm.

The same tragedy from three perspectives. Three interconnected women losing a piece of their lives.
Three dots connected by one man and disconnected by one tragedy.

Great grandma P: the widow

Reconnected by the responsibility in caring for the widow of a farmer hit by a train.
Tranferring the care of the farm to family men and the widow to family women.
The shape-shifting of a family due to a tragedy.

This 2D story finally became 3D in the middle of the night. Maybe this time-circle-trio will take form after all!


I am slow, but I do get there…in my sleep.

FLOW

How the Universe Works

| Flower Roberts

I am a good girl because that’s what my Daddy wanted. Well actually he wanted a boy, but I did my best to be a good girl, tomboy, green-thumbed, smart child. I mostly did what I thought I should do.
I continued this as an adult. I aquiesced over and over. I let myself be over-ruled. I went along, especially when I was uncertain.

Paths were taken to please others…and now I am here. In the wrong place, in the wrong life. Counting down the years.

But this year has been too bad to go along with. My parents’ homeplace was sold. The things from my past are scattered with strangers. My soulmate, Sandra, died five weeks after surgery to remove cancer. I injured one hip while awaiting surgery on the other.

I could go on and on here. I won’t. Something changed as I was lying in my bed waiting to walk again. Acquiescing no longer seemed like an option. I wanted to follow my own path, not the “should” breadcrumbs left for me to follow.

Then the Universe stepped in just when I was sinking in the care-giver quicksand.

My good friend, Joyce, sent me a link to a Cheryl Strayed workshop occurring in March near my family’s mountain house. I signed up. Then I figured it would be a good thing to read all things Strayed in preparation. The Universe prepared me by encouraging me to order Tiny Beautiful Things months ago.

So into my life comes Dear Sugar the advice column writer that tells it straight/Strayed.

I am at my sister’s house helping her recover from knee-replacement. It is snowing. I finally have quiet time to absorb what Dear Sugar is saying. Low and behold, she is talking to me, Miss Be Good Do What You Should.

She put in black and white what people who love me were afraid to say. It is time to find my path and quit aquiescing.

I must be strong. I must be brave. I must set a good example for Rose.

Get ready world. Get out of our way.

Thanks Sugar and Joyce and the Universe

FLOWER (in bold)

White by the Gate Camellia

| Flower Roberts

This gorgeous camellia is a favorite snack of our deer herd. I have been fencing it in and trimming it up to protect it.

New blooms appear for weeks through February and March. The flowers have perfect symmetry during all stages of blooming.

White by the Gate is one of my two Camellia “winter roses.”

FLOWER

Edgeworthia has Aroma and Color in the Cold

| Flower Roberts

Edgeworthia is attracting the attention of pollinators with bright colors and fragrance.

Edgeworthia chrysantha

It is a welcome sign that spring will arrive despite the present temperatures and threat of snow.

No worries. These fuzzy blooms can take the cold and ice.

I was glad to be home to enjoy this lovely shrub.

FLOWER

The Crow’s Wings

| Flower Roberts

I heard the crow’s wings beating the air as it flew silently over my head and landed in the tree next to me.

Blue Ridge Mountains


There are always crows here in the mountains.


They are usually squawking and cawing. They are too noisy.



But I did like the sound of the crow’s wings.

FLOW among the crows.

Time to Go

| Flower Roberts

Sometimes the signs are too obvious to ignore. I have been monitoring the conchs at the base of this oak for many years.
Next, a species of bracket fungi colonized in a crevasse at its base several years ago and have continually replaced several generations of fruiting bodies.

Old brackets are dark. Newer ones are rust.


The final sign is a huge hole under the base. Long sticks can be pushed deep down in the earth.

When I removed these today, they were actually cold on a warm day.


I will miss this tree, but it seems to lean toward the neighbors pier. That liability was its death blow.


I hope I am here to record the Watt Tree Service team’s removal of this huge oak. Sad but absolutely necessary.

FLOWER

A Beautiful Botany Book from Kew

| Flower Roberts

This is one of my favorite gifts from my daughter, Rose. It has the most gorgeous illustrations of plants. It is also organized into plant types and explains how those plants are related.

It is a book I wonder through on cold, rainy days. I can pretend I am in the rainforest among the tall trees and hanging vines.

Or I can dream of being in a warm Orchid House among the breathtaking blooms.

This very large book also serves as a piece of art in my library. Illustrator Katie Scott and writer Kathy Willis have created a treasure for anyone who loves botany or unusual plants. Brava!

FLOWER

Aged Hypertufa

| Flower Roberts

When I was an artist, I made garden art out of various recipes with portland cement as the main ingredient. Planters were made with mixtures of peat, ground organic matter, portland cement, mortar mix, stone and fibers.

Hypertufa trough covered in moss.

The troughs were hand-shaped and seasoned in plastic wrap to dry slowly. The surfaces had to be brushed to a roughly smooth, natural-looking texture that mimicked stone.

I discovered that there is a fine line between a recipe that will grow moss and a recipe that falls apart. The trick is to use fibers that are made to strengthen concrete. The fibers left sticking out can be burned off using a blow torch. I also used these fibers in bird baths and benches to reinforce them, along with hardware cloth and rebar.

This trough is about thirty years old and looks exactly like it was intended. Still sturdy enough to be moved and used as a planter.

I will share other pieces of Maiden Stone Garden Art in future posts and describe how each was made. I used to teach workshops on how to make pieces. 

FLOWER

Country Mouse in the City

| Flower Roberts

I am working in my sister’s yard today. She needed some cleaning up and mulching before adding solar lights along her walkway.


I also removed the corners from her square shrubs that were trimmed by a professional.


I found some fungi under her piles of pine needles. They released spores that looked like cocoa powered.


City folks put their yard waste in bags by the curb.

I am not used to folks blowing the horn as they drive by. Actually, I am not used to folks driving by.

It’s nice here in the city…but a bit noisy.


FLOW