I have watched crows walking in snow many times this winter.
They walk along the ground and sometimes bend over. I wondered if they were poking around for food.
I saw one walk across the road and peck at the asphalt. Was it eating snow?
Later I found these three sets of tracks on my patio.
All I know is, crows walk in snow.
FLOW
I know what now looks like.
It is snowing again.
This is expected on the mountain.
All this snow is a new thing
for Flower the flatlander.
I meant to get out yesterday.
Back then the good intentions roads were black and clear.
Now that everything is white again,
I’m not sure when I will do
what I meant to do yesterday
when I could have gone out.
Sometimes, it is best to let things lay
and just tell yourself,
“Not today.”
FLOW
It has been going on for weeks now. I have been calling it the ‘Pink Sparkle Emergency.’ I have been searching for all things pink. Pink was Mama’s favorite color. I thought it was just a habit, this looking for pink in January. Her birthday is in January.
I found a pink heart dish for her gift. I got out a pink candle holder I made years ago. I will light the pink candle on her birthday. I thought the obsession would stop.
It got worse. I needed a pink shirt and pink snowflake jewelry. Shirts came. Wrong pink. The jewelry did not sparkle enough. I shopped until my new hips hurt looking for the right sparkle and the right pink.
Finally, I have the right pink. The right pink? What does that even mean?
I was hoping the emergency was over. I hoped I could finally relax.
Last night I had a pink sparkle dream. There was a little pink sparkle dress. Maybe it’s from too much Wicked watching and Golden Globe viewing?
When I woke up this morning, I saw it in my mind. The perfect pink, the perfect sparkle.
It was my mama’s evening gown. I called home and made Mr. Flower take photos. Just to be sure it was safe.
I have not been searching for the perfect sparkly pink. I have been searching for my mama.
Tomorrow is her first birthday after her leaving us. Grief does strange things.
FLOW
I write about FEAR because it has been and will continue to be a part of my life. My family and I have experienced an inordinate amount of uncertainty and emergencies. The fear is always here, but we do not cower and stop because of it. We do not give it power.
Our family members have learned to pack fear in a bag with the needed supplies and get on with our lives. If you have read our book or blog, Seizure Mama and Rose, you know exactly what I mean. Fear is the uninvited guest at each event and the elephant in every room.
I have my own new fears now that I am being brave with my two new hips. The presence of fear requires the presence of bravery. My new fear is that old-lady worry of “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” Only my version does not occur in my kitchen. I fear falling on a mountain trail by myself. Please do not bother to”muther me” by telling me not to go. Keep your fear for someone who needs it, I have plenty.
I have been using a trekking pole at Evergreen Island. The trail is flat and open. I love walking there, but I need more nature than that.
I have a new gadget to try on the trails. I will share how it performs in the coming weeks. I was lying in bed inventing this and decided to google search.for a walking stick with a seat. Someone beat me to this invention. I love that its name is ‘Ta-Da’ because that’s what I yell when I do hard things or fall down and get up.
So this is my new weapon against fear of falling in the forest. I can use the seat to sit on when my hips hurt, also. This accomodation lets me continue to do what I love by removing the fear barrier. Sometimes it is better to accommodate fear than fight it.
FLOW
I have always had a fondness for fungi. Lichens are a mix of fungi and algae that grow on rocks and trees.
My favorite forms of these little hybrid beings are the fruticose kind. These are shrubby and sometimes pendulent.
This beauty was on a fallen stick beside a trail I hiked this afternoon.
I love how its growth cascades off the former branch it was growing on.
Lovely color and form!
I am lovin’ this little lichen!
FLOW
My mama’s birthday is next week. She would have been 94 years old. Her favorite color was pink, so I am in the habit of looking for pink gifts in January.
I was stopped in my tracks by this lovely pink snowflake in front of a shop named The Funky Tulip.
It is a great day for swinging in a pink swing. It is almost 60° on the mountain!
I was drawn closer by the display pink decorations in the window.
Of course I had no choice but to pop inside. Pink and sparkle together gets my undivided attention.
I found more pink furniture and items inside.
If you love pink, this is your kind of place. There were other colors too but I ignored them.
I will keep thinking pink this month as I remember my mama.
Flower
I made myself go to one of my favorite places today.
Going there used to be a reward for getting my chores done.
But today I went with my clothes still in the dryer and unfolded towels in a basket.
I had not swept the floors either.
Why the switch from going as a reward to being forced to go?
FEAR
That foe is still here.
So I went to Evergreen Island to prove that I could.
Alone
Unsure but determined
Who will make me go if I don’t?
I heard the fear voice whispering…
later, tomorrow, when you have time, when there is no pain, when your new stick gets here…
I heard that whispering all afternoon until I wanted to scream.
I grabbed my trek pole, camera and keys and marched myself to the car.
If I fall, I fall.
If it hurts, it hurts.
Fear has kept me from Evergreen Island for many months.
But I got there today!
Do not listen to that whispering voice.
Ignore that fear!
Listen to your heart.
FLOW
Coyotes howled in the valley as I took these photos. A green spirit orb appeared.
This has happened before, the night of my daughter’s college graduation.
Believe what you wish.
FLOW
The pair of Storytellers’ Chairs have returned to the mountain fully restored and ready for more. I have been busy saving the stories as well. Legacy isn’t just about things.
In the 1960’s the chairs were a plush green. They sat in my grandparents’ livingroom overlooking Hibriten Mountain. My maternal grandfather was the main storyteller.
In the 1980’s the chairs were covered in a rosy velvet. They were in my parents’ home in Charlotte.
Now, they are a lovely blue and sitting in the family room of my parents’ dreamhouse in the mountains of North Carolina.
You may recognize the Zebra table nearby.
Having these important family heirlooms restored and placed here makes me feel like more time circles have been completed.
I have fond memories of times with the former owners of these chairs. I miss my precious relatives who are no longer living. I especially miss my mama, Dottie Ann/ Kiki and her younger brother Uncle Jim both of whom we lost in 2025.
These family pieces being restored and ready for more years with our family brings me both peace and joy.
Many thanks to Blue Ridge Upholstery in Vilas, North Carolina for doing such an excellent job for us.
READY FOR 2026!
FLOW
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