I am glad I made it home in time to see the Professor Sargent Camellia japonica in full bloom.
These flowers have an unusual bouquet quality due to the two-tiered arrangement of petals.
The difference in petal length is most pronounced as the blooms first open.
FLOW
I have always been ‘Doer’, even as a child. I made plans and then I carried them out. My sister and friends were involved in all sorts of complex projects…a lean-to hideout built with spare plywood between the house and shrubbery, a rock polishing factory, a jewelry making production using poor Daddy’s colored wire, a cemetary in the woods for smashed toads from our street, and of course a school full of doll students under the apple tree. I was always busy.
My son still calls me ‘Busy Bee.’ It is hard for me NOT to be busy. Sometimes, this habit leads to what I call ‘Bad Busy.’ I wrote a post about this phenomenon on my other blog back in my busy days. (Link below)
Now, I have ended up on the other end of the busy spectrum. I cannot be active in many ways. There is a real risk that my injured hip will pop out again. I know pain, that was the worst yet. No drug could stop it until I was totally knocked out and intubated to pull the ball back into the socket. My right leg was visibly shorter.
So much for hiking trails alone for a while. That was my plan for April. I hope to eventually get there after physical therapy and two months of healing.
But for now, I have been forced to stop doing and start being. It sounds so cliche, but this has been hard for me. Being busy allows you to lose yourself in activities. Sometimes doing is an escape from being.
All that action is a distraction from reflection. It can be a way to avoid and ignore what is going on inside your head and heart. Once I stopped and rested, I looked around and was puzzled by my life.
Nothing was like I thought it should be. I know, ‘should’ is an expectation word with baggage. I know all about baggage. I rarely put anything down. I am a ‘History Hoarder.’ My past gets pulled along behind me like a wagon full of treasure and trash.
So me and my wagon have had to pause on our journey. The ‘Being Me’ is looking into the ‘Doing Me’s’ wagon. Whoa! What a load!
Do I really want to pull all this to the next phase of my life? Absolutely not.
So ‘Being Me’ is physically resting while mentally purging the wagonload of her past. This is a necessary step. I will not go so far as to call it a silver lining to this cloud. It has been painful. It is mentally exhausting. There has been a lot of reading and writing and thinking along with the healing.
My sincere hope is that when ” Busy Bee” flies back into action, her load will be lighter, her path will be brighter, and her hip will stay where it belongs so that she/me can finally find where we belong.
FLOW with wagon in tow.
While my daddy was in hospice dying of cancer, I sat by his bed every morning and took notes about what he said. He made me read the notes back to him. It was important that I get everything right.
I gave him a small notebook to jot down things he needed for me to do or bring to him. The lists he made for me ended up being the titles of stories he wanted to tell me to be written down.
We used the list as an agenda for our daily meetings. I would read off a title and he would tell me the story. When it was properly recorded, the title would be checked off the list.
This was my job during the weeks before he died. It was important to him that his stories be preserved. Who he was made me who I am and who I am made my children who they are. These stories matter.
That is the reason I am reading The Healing Power of Stories by Daniel Taylor Ph. D.. I want to have a clear goal of how I want to preserve Daddy’s stories before I begin. This will be my third family memoir project.
I am grateful to have these treasures to share with future generations. My two children are the only great, grand children on my daddy’s side of the family. His line may end after them, but I would like these stories to go to families who might enjoy the adventures of a little boy growing up in a small, southern town.
Daddy would like that.
FLOW
Contact info to reach out to Congress: Senator Thom Tillis (R) Elected to seat 2014; next election 2026https://www.tillis.senate.gov/202.244.6342 (press “3” to leave general message, this mailbox fills less frequently) Senator Ted Budd (R) Elected to seat 2022; next election 2028 https://www.budd.senate.gov/contact/202.224.3154 (frequently fills & will not take messages; Advance ofc: 336.941.4470) Congressman Pat Harrigan (R) […]
We The People – March 2025
I am rarely in the present moment. My mind is either in the past or in the future. I hate to admit this, but it is noticeable in my case. I am either in a reflective fog or moving too fast.
This is not a new problem. When my children were small, I drove them through the drop-off line at their elementary school. If you have ever done this, you know it is an irritating parade of dozens of stops and dozens of goes. When I finally made it into the drop-off zone, I stopped one last time and pulled away. The guidance counselor, Mingo, had to chase down my car and knock on the window. I had forgotten one small detail…to let my children out of the van.
Lately, it has been pointed out to me by two separate friends at two different meals that I stab my food like I am angry at it. Mad at food? No. Just thinking of other things as I mindlessly stuff food into my mouth.
This is the reason for today’s read. Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn. This is a frustrating title for someone who needs to escape herself. I have been sitting in silence trying to absorb its wisdom today without angrily turning its pages.
I have found it interesting. I am proud of the sustained attention I have mustered to read such a book. I am easily distracted, so this would not have been possible at home.
Being in the moment is something I obviously struggle with. The other flaw I am tackling in the coming weeks is fear. People think I am brave, but they do not see how I constantly fight fear.
My latest fear is that my new hip will go out of joint again. I fear that I will be alone so no one can call an ambulance this time. I must say that I met an inspiring young EMT named Rambo. She got away before I could propose to her for my son. We need an EMT in this family boy!
It is awful not to trust your own body. I will be doing physical therapy to strengthen the muscles. I have too much to do to lie around thinking. Any level of uncertainity will hold you back, if you let it.
So now, I hope to be mindfully walking, eating and reading.
We shall see!
FLOW
This is one of my favorite amaryllis blooms because of its simplicity and symmetry.
It is not as flamboyant as its bigger, showier relatives.
It had to be put back in a pot due to damage. I am happy to see it recovering nicely. It may need to be babied through another season. I may divide it and keep half as a stock plant. I do not want to risk losing this precious treasure again.
Flower
The truck hauled away a load of sawdust from the chipper.
Many logs are left to season and be cut into firewood.
The stump of the Fairy Tree is a gorgeous shape.
There was a glow-in-the-dark star left on the stump.
The rotten roots at the water had a giant hole in the center.
Generally it is not as messy as expected.
The tree that was trimmed up looks like I envisioned.
I am pleased with this progress, years overdue.
FLOW
When oaks get messy it’s a sign of decline. There are symptoms that let you know when one needs to go. Conch fungi at the base should not be ignored.
The tree near the water had been showing signs by growing fungi at its base and a hole forming underneath.
The tree near the ramp had its roots in the septic lines and grew extremely fast. The death at its core was sort of a surprise.
The oak at the road was planted thirty years ago. This one was trimmed on one side due to power lines. That meant the side toward the house and downhill was fuller and thus heavier.
We hired a company we have used several times before, Watt Tree Service. They do excellent work and clean up as they work.
This experienced crew provided several hours of entertainment today. The climber is sixty-one years old and is a third-generation climber. His brother also climbs and was doing a different job today right across the river.
If you have trees, you need to keep an eye out for decline, disease and bad form. It is important to hire experts, so that your trees will not be trimmed like lollipops that will medusa out later and cause even more problems.
It is worth paying for experienced, skilled crews with the proper equipment. Tree problems just get worse if not addressed.
FLOWER
Before this election I wrote letters and blogs, joined groups and sent money from my tiny retirement account to any credible opposition organization.
I am NOT in a political party. I have no loyality to any group except the underdogs of this world. For the downtrodden, I will be a vicious protector. I take my role as Mama Bear seriously.
I am writing letters, blogs, and checks again. If the Department of Education and Social Security get decimated, that retirement account will dwindle. If the USPS disappears I cannot send letters.
My point is… could you folks who made the mistake of voting for the new King stand up and help dethrone this scary, selfish, sex-offender?
Even those not in the USA would benefit from having this man and his sidekick removed from the White House.
I know it is hard to wrap your head around this level of evil, but please help right this terrible wrong ASAP.
Those brave, badass women need your help.
Love and kisses,
FLOWER/ SNAPDRAGON/Mama Bear/ Badass/ Woke and Soon-to-be Broke
floweralley 