These Foxglove /Digitalis blooms are magical. I admire the different configurations of spots on different plants.
These beauties are poisonous, so watch where you plant them. The blooms on each spire open starting from the bottom.
If you peek in a tube you will see an unusual arrangement of pollen designed to dust any bee that enters.
Flower
I saw this type of Blue Crown Passion Vine in Volterra, Italy. It was growing on the railing around our hotel. That vine also had orange fruits in it. This is a relative of our native North Catolina Maypop vine.
This Blue Crown hybrid is almost ten years old. This particular plant came up from the roots of the mother vine which broke down the fence with its weight.
This second generation has sturdier support. I love looking off the deck and seeing dozens of these gorgeous blooms.
This is my absolute favorite flower in terms of structure. The colors are vivid and the pistil parts actually move up or down depending on conditions.
Every spring I sit above it in a chair and watch it pollinator visitors.
FLOW
I get haunted by things. Something about them says, ” Look closure. Understand me. I have a story to tell.” I cannot ignore the pull. It will not leave me alone until I figure out the mystery.
This pair of portraits won’t leave me alone. They were in a box in my parents’ basement. I had never seen them until recently. The frames were old and the glass cracked. I threw those away. The portraits said, “Save me!” How could I toss such treasure? I feel like they are in this house with me…waiting.
I know they are relatives of my great aunt Ethel’s second husband. Louis is written on the back in chalk. The sticker says Worley and Zimmerman Pigua, Ohio.
My research discovered the names David Louis and Regina Lebensburger Louis. I saw a grainy photo of David’s portrait on-line. These were the grandparents of Sam Louis, Ethel’s second husband. I am currently writing a book that includes Ethel Pearson Touchman Louis.
Grandparents David and Regina are upstairs keeping me company, until I get them home to their family. I sense a roadtrip to Ohio is in my future.
I feel they need to get somewhere else. They belong with their family. They got shuffled off to the wrong people in the hasty move after Aunt Ethel’s death.
No worries. They will be safe here. I must admit that I will miss them, but I will not miss being haunted.
FLOW
I time-traveled for several hours today. I swirled through years of memories of my family’s life, picking and clicking and dragging to get the slideshow photos ready for my mother’s memorial service next week. This overwhelmed me emotionally. I mostly cried about photos of Daddy even though he has been gone almost five years. That hole is still too big.
This is my third time being in charge of this part of a memorial. The clicking and dragging gets easier, but the picking throws me into a serious funk.
Losing someone I love is like losing a body part for me. My world must be rebalanced and recalibrated. Nothing highlights this loss of the missing piece like a slideshow of hundreds of photos of the dearly departed.
For all the folks attending a service, this is an important part of remembering the loved one. It is worth the trouble. I chose photos that had others we love with mama…Great times with family and friends.
I could have gone through more files, but stopped past the time I should have quit. My eyes could no longer focus. I could not think. I think my brain got confused about the present while traveling through all that frozen time. I had to click on now and drag my head to bed to reset myself.
I will pass this on to my sister to add to and tweak. I did go back through and remove some photos my mother would not have approved of. She is known for cutting herself out of photos using scissors. There were some times she did not want herself to be frozen in. We laugh when we find these clipped pictures.
Everything will be ready for the service… flowers, food, photos and music. We have helpers.
We will hold on to mama that one more afternoon. Then we must start letting her go from our presence. We cannot freeze. We must keep living.
FLOW
I have visited the iris this morning. The show will continue for several more weeks. I will not be here to stake and deadhead. They will survive.
When I return in May the double peonies will need staking. They cannot hold up their heavy heads in the rain. They will survive.
I will be helping plan my mother’s memorial service this week. It will be beautiful. My sister will make sure of that. We will survive.
No…better. We will thrive, because we have been loved and tended to by the best parents on the planet. Watch and see!
FLOW
I told my family I was going down to check on my plants downstairs and in the bunny yard. Mr. Flower said, “Take a stick.” Now how am I supposed to get anything done with a stick?
I chose a shovel instead. I am so relieved that my treasures survived last year’s neglect. I will post my best photos with names below.
The big news is I made it halfway down the hill to my favorite spot. Here the wind turns up the hill and has a lift to it. I have spent a lot of time under these oaks sitting on this hill watching the water. I used to haul my heavy bookbag down here and grade papers on Saturdays. I sit on this bench to pray or cry or talk to the sky.
I needed to be down here today. So much is changing in my life and family. I feel a bit unmoored. It is soothing to sit where I have always sat these 35+ years to mull over the next part of my journey.
I am thankful to my hip and shovel for making this nostalgic little trip possible. Now, if I can just get back up to the house!
FLOW on the move
I am home again. There could not be a more glorious morning. I am wandering my gardens in my pajamas, as usual. Birds are singing and flowers are blooming. Nature is partying right here in my yard.
My family is meeting at the home of our much-loved uncle this afternoon. He has chosen quality over quantity in his cancer journey. I support this decision with my whole, broken heart.
My urgent message to you is, “Love now.” Do not wait to visit or pick up the phone. Do not hesitate to say, “I love you.” Give longer hugs to more people. Life is in constant flux. What is blooming this morning will be setting seed soon.
I encourage you to include yourself in this loving. Do things that make your heart sing. You are not immortal. Time slips away while you are busy.
In the words of John Lennon
“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans”
Make a good plan, get into good trouble and go love somebody.
FLOW
I’ve been trying to get down to the heart of the matter. It has taken months of digging through old letters and photographs. These artifacts are like portals to the past. I am facing things I locked away. I have seen who I was before I was corrected and realigned.
I have had to accept that our culture’s expectations for both men and women have been limiting to both genders. Needless burdens are carried and strengths are repressed. It has taken great effort for me to admit that things I thought were moral were actually cultural. As a mother of both a young man and a young woman, it is imperative that I get my vision unbiased.
I do not intend to shackle either of my children with roles from this dichotomous culture. The roles of women, especially, have been augmented by patriarical standards for generations. I intend to stop that in my family here and now.
Another epiphany peeked out this morning. I was not expecting the truth that showed itself. But I guess I knew the truth all along. That is why this rare argument with my precious father has never let me go. Not after forty years. I know he would understand. Maybe the second-hand apology and the delayed sharing were part of the plan to get me here at this point in time.
Sometimes traveling back to the past shows you things you did not see the first go-round. Those memories you thought were locked away forever, have been waiting for you to be ready to finally look them in the eye.
This part of the journey will be done slowly, quietly and methodically. I cannot miss the lessons this time around. My past has my full attention. Our future will be better because of it.
FLOW
When I do not know what to do
I go sit down upon the blue
chair and stare up at the sky
and let the time go passing by.
Thanks Daddy
Hug Mama
LOVE
Becca
floweralley 