I could have headed south before the storms. Back to my other home where someone else would haul the wood and build the fires. But what would I gain from that, being comfortable and cared for like a cat?

I was raised to be smart and strong. But mishaps have happened.  I feel I have lost those attributes.  I have things to prove to myself. Even now…Especially now.

This collosal storm has raged for days. I have studied the ice, snow, wind and rain. This has not been a relaxing experience, but a necessary one. I belong in the world, not protected from it.

The first wave of snow was heavy and dense. It glistened as it blew and clung to the trees. The temperatures dropped and the wind picked up. By that second white afternoon, I felt I must prepare for power outages. Water was stored in every bathroom and the kitchen.

I rolled out the kerosene heater on its cart and lit it to be sure it worked.  I got out flashlights and candles.  There must be heat and light.

All pipes in the basement were safe except the one climbing up the front wall which supplies an outside spigot. That pipe was double-wrapped with paper bags and packing materials.

A fire was layed in the beast of a woodstove my father bought used from some mountain folk down a dirt road. I remember we thought he was unwise to buy that giant rusty box. My daddy always saw the veiled possibilities in things.

I hauled in seven more wheel barrow loads of firewood into the basement. I placed the wood in lawn chairs, so I would not need to lift heavy pieces from the floor. I had been saving cardboard and scrap paper to start fires with. Such is my habit of burning or recycling as much as possible.

I was exhausted by about 3:00.  I felt the tipping point of the ice-loaded trees was eminent. I opened my bedroom blinds and got under a blanket to wait for the sound of snapping trees.

Sounds started slowly and softly. The wind picked up and pattering noises got louder and faster. This was not the loud crackings that I had expected.

I got up and looked out. Instead of limbs falling, the ice on the trees was slipping off the branches and crashing to the ground. A rain was loosening the ice’s grip on the limbs. The thuds and plops went on for hours. Rain had arrived just as the ice had gotten too heavy for the trees.

This miracle rain had saved the trees and the power lines. Now the grass was a mat of hard-frozen ice with sprinkles of shiny ice shards on top.

The next snow came at dark and continued through the night. This snow was like fine glitter that did not cling to things. It sparkled and blew like fairy dust filling the sky and making dunes in the low places and against any barriers to the wind.

The snow and winds filled the skies for another day. The winds roared like a train that next night. Snow blew through the screens and filled the space against the windows.

Dunes drifted from place to place. Their shapes and textures changed throughout the day. Holes in mounds seemed to form for no reason. Points jutted out of piles as if the wind had been blocked like a lee behind a stone, but no stone was visible.

The wind is still blowing tonight. I am sure the dunes will be different in the morning. The sun should shine tomorrow. Some ice may melt.

What did I learn? I learned where the wind follows the contours of our property. I saw how it split around our house and strengthened as it headed down the slopes. I now know how the water flows and where the snow drifts and where the ice melts last.

I had to prove that I am capable of taking care of this house and myself. I will no longer let fear tell me what to do. I need to rely on myself.

I am glad that I did not lose power. I am grateful that my driveway and road are somewhat clear again. I will adapt to any changes that happen. I appreciate assistance but do not expect it.

My family predicted I would be lonely on the mountain. My husband insisted on checking on me during a lull between storms. I enjoyed his company but worried about his driving in the snow. We want everyone safe but there will always be risks.  Worry and fear are not anyone’s friends.

I was raised to be smart and strong, but mishaps happened and I forgot who I was for a bit.

I had to stay on the mountain with myself to remember.

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