I have opened a very popular eatery.
On Monday night the favorite was Hosta on the Hill.
The buffet line was totally cleaned out.
The Tuesday night special was Daylily Delight. Only one juicy Whooperee flower left.
Yesterday evening, I prepared for last night’s feasting
by adding some stinky Society Garlic as a side.
If you are expecting jokes about getting a gun and making venison,
you will be disappointed.
You see I once was a bear, pregnant with twins.
NO, I am not crazy. I am a biologist. I took PROJECT WILD training.
In one of the activities, we were assigned an animal role.
I was a bear pregnant with twins. I had to capture at least three times more food cards than the others.
One total let me live, a higher total let one cub live and the highest total let all three of us survive.
At the end of the “game” I was exhausted and sweaty. I did my best. My totals weren’t high enough.
PAUSE…
Let that that sink in. Who got to survive you ask? If you are a mother, you know it doesn’t matter.
One of the munching deer is pregnant, that means at least one more “mouth” to feed…
And we have coyotes.
Mother Nature is my mother, too.
Flowers are Edible. Bring it Mama!
Here’s a crazy story for you. I once had a client who fed the deer (set out bales of hay) and then made her husband pee in front of them so they would leave the perennials alone.
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Those two things did cross my mind.
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It worked some of the time. Her husband was from New Jersey and didn’t take kindly to being asked to do that. Do you have any Juniper or Arborvitae, they don’t like those?
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Yes, but not everywhere. The garlic works. I just needed to spread. It more. I stunk when I got done
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No magnolias! it always amazed me that the deer would eat Southern Magnolias. hostas I can understand.
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My bunnies ate Sago palm leaves.
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I think your Project Wild experience is the source of your crazy survival dreams. And I think you should buy a big squeeze container of chopped garlic and squirt it around your special plants.
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If the garlic deters slugs, mice and deer all my prayers will have been answered. I don’t mind sharing. But if they left just a few flowers, a bit of foliage and some veg for me too that would be nice.
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